Core principle
Supporting someone facing abuse means:
- Listening without judgement
- Believing their experience
- Focusing on safety
- Respecting their choices and pace
- Not forcing them to leave
📚 (Aligned with guidance from domestic abuse support services and legal education resources such as the Maryland People’s Law Library)
Key Safeguarding Approach
1. Listen and believe
- Let them speak without interruption
- Take what they say seriously
-
Reassure them:
- “I believe you”
- “This is not your fault”
Belief is one of the most powerful protective responses.
2. Keep it private and safe
- Speak in a safe, confidential space
- Ensure the abuser is not present
- Do not contact or confront the abuser
- Protect their safety and privacy at all times
3. Do not judge or pressure
Avoid saying:
- “Why don’t you just leave?”
- “Why did you let it happen?”
- “You should do this…”
Instead:
- Respect their decisions
- Understand leaving is complex and risky
- Accept their pace and readiness
4. Offer specific, practical help
Instead of general offers like “let me know if you need anything,” offer clear support:
- “I can look after your children”
- “I can drive you to appointments”
- “I can help you contact services”
Practical help reduces barriers to safety.
5. Help with safety planning (if they want it)
You can support them to:
- Create a safety plan
- Identify safe places to go
- Prepare emergency items
- Use code words for danger
- Contact domestic abuse helplines or advocates
Safety planning should always be survivor-led.
6. Provide professional resources
Support them to connect with:
- Domestic abuse helplines
- Legal support services
- Housing support
- Counselling and advocacy services
These services are trained to provide specialist help.
7. Stay connected
- Keep in contact where safe
- Don’t withdraw if they stay in the situation
- Understand they may not always be able to reply
- Consistency helps reduce isolation
Isolation is a key tool used in abuse.
What NOT to do
Do NOT:
- Blame them for what is happening
- Ask “Why did you stay?”
- Force them to leave or act
- Put yourself in danger
- Confront the abuser directly
These actions can increase risk and harm trust.
Important Safeguarding Messages
1. Safety first
- The priority is immediate and ongoing safety
- Not forcing decisions
2. Choice matters
- Survivors must stay in control of their decisions
- Even if others disagree with their choice
3. Abuse is not the survivor’s fault
- Responsibility lies with the person causing harm
- Support should never shift blame
Emergency reminder
If someone is in immediate danger, contact emergency services (e.g. 911 in the US or local emergency number).
Key summary (Easy Read style)
- Listen
- Believe
- Do not judge
- Keep them safe
- Offer practical help
- Support their choices
- Stay connected
- Help them find professional support
Training note
This approach is widely used in:
- Domestic abuse services
- Safeguarding training
- Social care and health services
- Legal and victim support guidance
📚 (Consistent with guidance from domestic abuse education and legal support frameworks, including the Maryland People’s Law Library and US/UK safeguarding practice)
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