Sunday, 10 May 2026

🌑 1. Full Poetry Collection (Edited & Structured) “Feelings I Had to Learn From (2018–2019)”

How Long Can I Fight This Feeling?

How long
can I keep fighting
this feeling inside me?

It feels wrong—
not because it is wrong,
but because
you don’t feel the same.

And I know that.

So why do I feel guilt
for something
I haven’t even done?

Feelings—
they don’t ask permission.

But actions do.

And I will not force
what isn’t there.

I will not push
what you don’t want.

This is mine to carry.

Not yours.

The Weight of Feelings

I feel shame—
and yet
I have done nothing wrong.

No lies.
No betrayal.

Just feelings.

And still—
they sit heavy inside me.

You only want friendship.
And I respect that.

So I write instead of speak.
I process instead of act.

Because caring about someone
should never mean
hurting them.

Even if it means
hurting myself a little
to let go.

The Choice Was Already Made

I was torn—
between what I felt
and what was real.

But the truth is simple:

One person felt it.
One person didn’t.

So the choice
was already made.

End of the Road

I walked out of your life
a long time ago.

Later than I should have—
but I did it.

You hurt me
in ways that cut deep.

But now?

You have no control.

No say.
No place.

You are history.

Lessons From Pain

You blamed your past.
Again and again.

But pain
is not permission
to hurt others.

That is a choice.

And I chose
to walk away.

To My Father

You chose your path.
Your drugs.
Your distance.

And left your children
behind.

I spent years
wondering why.

Thinking it was me.

But it wasn’t.

It never was.

Still Standing

I faced emotional abuse.
Years of it.

From someone
who said he loved me.

But love
does not break you.

Love does not control you.

So I left.

And I survived.

The Strength You Gave Me

You tried to break me—
but instead
you made me stronger.

So thank you.

Not for the pain—
but for the lesson.

You showed me
what I will never accept again.

So Unknown Yet Again

There is no perfect life.

No perfect love.

No constant happiness.

But there should never be
constant sadness either.

You cannot force love.

You cannot chase it.

You can only
live,
learn,
and wait.

I Say No More

I know you don’t feel the same.

And that’s okay.

You don’t owe me love.

You never did.

This is mine to understand.

Mine to let go.

Mine to grow from.

I Try Not to Feel This Way

I try—
but feelings don’t disappear
on command.

So I sit with them.

Learn from them.

And slowly—
release them.

How Do I Know?

Questions
with no answers.

Doubts
that echo.

Am I enough?
Was I ever?

Or was I just
another moment
in someone else’s story?

Looking Forward

I’ve known pain.
I’ve known confusion.
I’ve known being used.

But I’m still here.

Still hoping.

Still believing
that somewhere—

there is someone real.

Not perfect.

Just real.

📘 2. Easy Read Version (Simplified & Symbol Style)

Feelings and Letting Go

💭 I have feelings
❌ But they are not returned

😔 I feel guilty
❗ Even though I did nothing wrong

💡 Feelings are okay
🚫 Forcing someone is not

🤝 You want friendship
✅ I respect that

🧠 I deal with my feelings
✍️ I write instead

💔 I was hurt before
🚪 But I walked away

🌟 Now I am stronger
💪 I learned my worth

👨‍👧 My past hurt me
❗ But it was not my fault

🌍 Life is not perfect
❤️ But it should not always hurt

💬 Final message:
✔️ You cannot force love
✔️ You can learn to let go
✔️ You deserve respect

🖼️ 3. Poster Version

You Cannot Force Love

💭 Feelings are real
❌ But they are not always returned

💡 And that’s okay

🚫 You cannot force love
❤️ You can only respect it

🌱 Growth means:
Letting go
Learning
Healing

💪 Walking away is strength
❤️ Knowing your worth is power

🎤 4. PowerPoint Outline

Slide 1: Title

Feelings, Growth & Letting Go

Slide 2: Feelings

Natural
Not always shared

Slide 3: Guilt

Feeling guilty without action
Understanding emotions

Slide 4: Respect

Not forcing others
Accepting boundaries

Slide 5: Past Pain

Emotional hurt
Family impact

Slide 6: Realisation

Not your fault
Learning self-worth

Slide 7: Strength

Walking away
Healing

Slide 8: Moving Forward

Letting go
Hope for the future

📄 5. Reflection / Activity Sheet

Understanding Feelings

✏️ Have you ever liked someone who didn’t feel the same?
✏️ How did it make you feel?

💬 Finish the sentence:

“I deserve…”
“I will not force…”

🌟 Draw or write:
What does healthy love look like?

Wednesday, 28 December 2016 Poems (2014 Collection) Happy New Year 2014

New Year reflection

New Year yet I am well behind in my poetry.
Christmas and New Year has come and gone like a book that's opened and closed.

Nothing seems to change yet time never stands still this life.
As the year ends it's another chapter in your life that doesn't always change at that time.

A new year and a year old to come then a new year becomes an older, closes then there's a new year again until the day we died.

It's so unknown why we are born as we are going to die.
When? Is a question of time? 1.1.2014

Now I need to sort out my life

The years are rolling by.
Like us all I am not getting any younger but I only hope I'm getting wiser.

Time is running so fast but life is too short to waste.
There’s nowhere to run nowhere to hide.

I can't affront to waste any time but without meaning to that's what I seem to do, I must be going out of my mind.

Long before now I have for loves that were blind, in time I will see if I have got it right this time. 1.1.2014

You make me feel

When I speak to you on the phone and face to face, you make me feel so special.
You just have something that no one has and had.

You bring butterflies in my stomach.
You fill my mind with far too many loving thoughts.

You wouldn't believe how much in 2014, I want to see a little more of you than I did in 2013.

It's almost a year since I started chatting to you on the disabled dating site, nearly year my dear.
Nothing this life runs without any fears my dear.

Let's hope with you I will see my life and the world more clearly my dear.

My mind never stops thinking and wondering when I will see you again but whenever it is you’re worth the wait.

When each of our dates have been over and you go back on the train, my eyes fill up with tears like the sea.

This is what you do to me.
I miss you so much but if we wait long enough the time will be right in time.

This is how you make me feel; to me you are worth waiting for. 2.1.2014

Good 2013 / Beginning of feelings

I don't think anyone believed at the time that I wasn't looking for love.

I was feeling very low at that time but that wasn't the reason I ended up falling in love.

I started chatting to you on the dating site but to start with I saw you as a friend, then my feelings became strong.

Love was the last thing on my mind.

I spoke to a few people before you; they weren’t my kind of friends never mind lovers.

With what I had gone through before you, love was the last thing on my mind.

But after our second date in May, my feelings got stronger and I have never looked back since. 2.1.2014

2013 reflections / weather and life

We had a fair amount of summer last year.
We can only hope for the same if not this summer in 2014.

It was a change after the washout of rain summer 2012.
I was expecting a heavy winter end of 2013 into 2014.

We don’t get white Christmases often now like before the 2000s.

The 2000s have been full of fireworks and storms with so much rain it’s been hard to keep warm.
No wonder we depend on central heating and bills are running high. 2.1.2014

Last day of 2013

I can only be honest that I haven't had a bad year that year.
Life has ups and downs for everyone not just you and me.

In my mind I had a good year thanks to you and my career.

Hopefully now it's 2014 things can only get better.

Feelings can make you hope and expect too much when you're in love.

The last day of 2013 seemed hard to close the chapter or book.
But I hope 2014 is even better. 2.1.2014

The way I feel about you

Love is you and me.
You and I loving each other is what counts.

We are our own people.
We love each other in every way.

At first I saw you as a friend, never a lover.
But my feelings grew stronger.

I love your personality, humour, but most of all I love you. 21.2.2014

We need to get to know each other more

We need to get to know each more.
We need to start dating more.

My feelings like yours are getting stronger.

Even though we are far apart we still need to see each other.
You have given happiness in the time we have spent together. 22.2.2014

I thought I had nothing and everything

I thought I had nothing and everything before I knew you.
My life has changed for the better since I met you.

The only thing I miss is holding one another.
I will travel miles to see you to love you. 22.2.2014

Love is

We all think we know what love is but we don’t until we grow old together.

Life goes on with or without love.
I love you for you.

You are always in my heart.
Soon we will be in each other’s arms. 23.2.2014

My love was blind

My love was once blind.
Everyone could see what I couldn’t see.

It took me time to realise he wasn’t the man I thought.
Now I feel nothing for him anymore. 23.2.2014

Weather reflection

I was woken by the singing wild wind.
Rain and wind seem like a big thing.

Hot summers have long gone.
Cold winters yet to come.

The weather has a mind of its own just like us. 23.2.2014

I thought this was the beginning of the end

My feelings were too strong to walk away.
He knew how much I loved him.

When he hurt me again I couldn’t cope anymore.
He played games with my mind. 24.2.2014

There’s no perfect life

There’s no perfect life.
We have good days, bad days, happy days, sad days.

You are far too special to not have in my life.
You have changed my world. 24.2.2014

Meaning of poetry / writing / words

Meaning of poetry is words.
Writing is another way of saying what is on your mind.

We can talk, think, write forever.
Truth is written from the poet’s mind to the reader. 24–25.2.2014

Depression

Depression is a feeling with or without reason.
We all have good and bad days.

Life is not easy to understand.
We all experience ups and downs. 25.2.2014

John Keats reflection

John Keats inspired me.
His poetry made me write my own words.

My writing is thoughts from my mind. 25.2.2014

Final reflections

I don’t miss you anymore.
I thought I was blind to love.

The pen can’t always write fast enough to the mind.
Everyone has words inside them.

Stand up and be yourself. 25.2.2014

Government and appeals reflections (2014)

I don’t like writing about government.
But voices need to be heard.

Disabled and ill people need support.
Appeals and benefit changes cause stress and anxiety.

People are being pushed into debt and crisis.
This system puts vulnerable people at risk. 14–15.3.2014

Thursday, 29 December 2016 Mental health poems and trying to put the past behind In my own world and in my own words

1. Family changes and growing up

I was like the only child to start with.
When you came into the world we were like miles apart but you brought a lot of joy into my life, that I know at times I found it hard to show.

Now you are a great Mother raising my two lovely nephews.
There has been so many changes that we never thought would happen from when You were born when I was 13 to now. 29.12.2016

2. Accepting myself

I am me no matter how hard I find it to change.

3. Thoughts and writing

I try not to be a dreamer but I seem to be.
Being romantic can be a good and a bad thing because you can easy hope too much.

Not easy to balance the good with the bad.
Not good when you want to write and you can't think what to write.

Once you start to think, your pen can't write in time to your mind, please forgive my untidy handwriting when that happens, which is why I mostly type. 29.12.2016

4. Just a feeling

Just a feeling with or without a reason.

Just a feeling with or without a reason why, even then no one really knows why.

For some of us it comes and goes with no in-between.
For others it stays where it is unknown to the reasons why most of the time.

Just accept anything, everything off anybody and everybody.
We are just human with things we can and can't control. 29.12.2016

5. Understanding mental health

Don't get me wrong, not everything is down to Mental health, we know that.
Most of it is down to being misunderstood.
Yes I agree we all have faults. 29.12.2016

6. Managing feelings

Art, crafts, hobbies, interests, talents or and etc is a great way of managing Mental health but it doesn't work for everyone, even counselling or both. 29.12.2016

7. Emotional change

Take me as I am or not at all.

I am happy one minute but not the next.
Sometimes there's no reason for it, other times there is.

It's just a feeling inside me that can change from happy to sad then sad to happy.
No one is to blame either way. 29.12.2016

8. Will the sad feeling ever end?

Mental health isn't always a sad feeling, we go through times of feeling happy and sad just like everyone but the difference is how often we do compared to those who don't face Mental health.

The sad feeling can last however long or short it is going to be but to us it can feel long even if it's short because it can be the unknown.

You can feel the way you do with or without reason and no one really knows why, it's just the feeling inside the person.

Anxiety can link with Depression because you worry, panic or even fear things that mostly don't seem to be as bad as they feel.

In the time of sadness it's hard to have faith and be positive in yourself until somehow, someway that feeling passes but then you wonder whether or not you are going to get through, which is why you may be saying things you wouldn't say and even doing things you wouldn't do in a happy state of mind.

It can vary from time to time and even person to person.

Never think those who suffer from Mental health is how life will end, it will either will or won't the same with disability too. 29.12.2016

✍️ What Is a Poet?

A poet is mindful of words.
From thinking, researching, and reflecting—
from the head to the pen,
the typewriter, the keyboard, and the page.

Is it good or bad?
Either way, we write what we know.

We all write as if it is something special.
Really, they are just words
that may or may not mean something.
They may or may not be poetry.

Honestly, we can all do that, can’t we?
It is simply a way of expressing ourselves.
Whether we speak or write,
it is luck of the draw
whether it makes sense or not.

It is just thoughts
moving through the mind.

🌱 Dis-A-Bility

Dis – this is ability.
This is strength.

Dis – this is difficulty.

Both exist together.

🗣️ Poetry Is a Voice

Poetry is a voice.
Poetry is how we speak
from the mind onto the page.

Poetry is voice,
words,
and meaning.

The voice is about being heard.
It should also be about being understood.

📖 Dyslexic Poetry

What did I read?
What did it say?
What did I watch on TV?

So much…
I cannot remember.

🤔 Am I a Writer?

Why do you see yourself as a writer?

No—I don’t.
I just write what my mind tells me to write.

I write lines
because years ago, my teacher told me
to remember the books, I read.

I understood them at the time…
but now I cannot remember.

Does that make me “thick”?

In college, I passed exams
with support in my studying.

Maybe I didn’t try hard enough.
Maybe some would say
I shouldn’t have needed support.

💡 Truth About Ability

I am not good at everything,
but I am good at most things.

What I have written
is simply me
summing up the life I have lived.

Support or no support,
I have achieved what I have achieved.

❤️ A Message to Others

This poem is for others
who have struggled like I did.

Do not let anyone tell you
what you can or cannot be.

You will get there—
even if you are not there yet.

There is no shame in needing support.
Get the help you need,
whenever you need it.

🌟 Final Message

Believe in yourself.

✍️ 1. EDITED & POLISHED POEM

Food and Men

I love a spicy curry
and a pint of beer,
as much as I love my men—

but curry, beer, and men
don’t always love me back.

More often than not,
love turns into hate—

when curry and beer
send me running
to the toilet every five minutes.

Men can give me butterflies
in my stomach—
or turn it over
with stress.

Love and hate—
a hard habit to break.

You can live with love,
but not with hate.

And in my experience,
love rarely comes
without a little hate—

but maybe
that’s the same
for everyone.

November 2009

🌈 2. EASY READ VERSION

Food and Men (Easy Read)

👉 I like spicy curry
👉 I like beer
👉 I like men

👉 But sometimes:

Curry makes me feel unwell
Beer makes me feel unwell
Men can make me stressed

👉 Sometimes love feels good ❤️
👉 Sometimes love feels bad 💔

👉 Love and hate can feel mixed

👉 It is easier to live with love
👉 It is harder to live with hate

👉 Everyone feels this sometimes

🎤 3. SPOKEN WORD VERSION (FUN + RELATABLE)

I love curry—
hot, spicy, full of flavour.

I love beer—
cold, smooth, easy going.

And men…
well—
I love them too.

But here’s the problem—

curry, beer, and men…
don’t always love me back.

Sometimes love feels amazing—
butterflies…
excitement…

Other times—
it turns your stomach—

stress…
regret…
running back and forth…
(you know where).

Love and hate—
they sit too close together.

And once you’ve felt both…

you realise—

love is easy…

but hate?

hate stays.

🎨 4. POWERPOINT STRUCTURE

Slide 1 – Title

Food and Men
Love, Humour & Real Life

Slide 2 – The Comparison

Curry 🍛
Beer 🍺
Men ❤️

Slide 3 – The Problem

They don’t always “love me back”
Can cause discomfort or stress

Slide 4 – Love vs Hate

Love = butterflies
Hate = stress, discomfort

Slide 5 – Real Message

Love and hate can be connected
Emotions are complicated

Slide 6 – Final Thought

Love is easier to live with
Hate is harder to carry

📘 5. EDUCATIONAL / REFLECTION MESSAGE

Key Themes

Relationships can be mixed with positive and negative feelings
Physical reactions (like anxiety or stress) are real experiences
Humor can help people process difficult emotions
Love does not always mean healthy or easy relationships

💬 6. BLOG / BOOK REFLECTION

This poem uses humour and everyday experiences—food, drink, and relationships—to explore deeper emotional truths. It shows how love can sometimes come with discomfort, stress, or disappointment. By comparing men to curry and beer, the poem makes a relatable point: not everything we enjoy is always good for us. It highlights the importance of recognising both the positive and negative sides of relationships.

🌟 7. TITLE IDEAS

Food and Men
Love, Curry and Chaos
Butterflies and Bellyaches
Love and Hate on the Same Plate
Not Everything You Love Loves You Back

✍️ 1. EDITED & POLISHED POEM

What Is a Poet?

What is a poet?

A poet is mindful of words—
from thought,
from research,
from memory,
from head to hand,
from pen to paper,
from keyboard to screen.

Is it good or bad?
Either way,
we write what we know.

We write
as if it is something special—
yet sometimes
it is just words.

Words that may mean something,
or nothing at all.

Is that poetry?
Or just expression?

We all do it, don’t we?
Speaking, writing, thinking—
a chance of meaning,
a chance of misunderstanding.

Just thoughts
passing through the mind.

Dis A Bility

Dis—this is ability.
This is strength.

Dis—this is difficulty.

Both can exist
at the same time.

Poetry is a voice.
A voice we speak.
A voice we write.

Words with meaning.
Meaning to be heard.
Meaning to be understood.

Dyslexic Poetry

What did I read?
What did it say?

What did I watch?
I cannot remember.

Does that make me “thick”?

No.

I write
because my mind tells me to.

I write
because that is how I remember.

I was told to remember books—
but I remember feelings instead.

With support,
I passed my exams.

Without support,
would I have?

Maybe I didn’t try enough.
Maybe I tried harder than most.

I am not good at everything—
but I am good at many things.

This is my life,
in words.

This poem is for others
who struggle like I did:

Don’t let anyone
tell you otherwise.

You will get there—
even if you’re not there yet.

Get the support you need.

Believe in yourself.

🌈 2. EASY READ VERSION

What Is a Poet? (Easy Read)

👉 A poet uses words to share thoughts and feelings

👉 We can write using:

Pen and paper
Computer
Our mind

👉 Poetry can be:

Good
Confusing
Meaningful
Or hard to understand

👉 That is okay

👉 Poetry is a voice

👉 It helps us:

Speak
Express feelings
Be heard

👉 Dyslexia can make reading and remembering hard

👉 Forgetting things does NOT mean you are “thick”

👉 With support, we can learn and achieve

👉 Everyone is different

👉 We all have strengths and difficulties

👉 Believe in yourself

👉 Ask for support

👉 You can achieve your goals

🎤 3. SPOKEN WORD VERSION (POWERFUL DELIVERY)

What is a poet?

Is it someone special…
or just someone thinking out loud?

Words from the head—
to the page—
to the world.

Sometimes they mean everything…

Sometimes… nothing at all.

And still—
we write.

Dis… ability.

Strength…
and struggle…
in the same breath.

I forget what I read—
forget what I watched—

But I don’t forget how I feel.

Does that make me less?

No.

It makes me human.

I passed with support—

And that still counts.

Because support…
is not weakness.

It’s how we rise.

So if you feel behind—
lost—
or not enough—

Listen—

You will get there.

Believe in yourself.

🎨 4. POWERPOINT STRUCTURE

Slide 1 – Title

What Is a Poet?
Poetry, Identity & Ability

Slide 2 – What Is a Poet?

Someone who writes thoughts
Someone who expresses feelings
Someone who shares their voice

Slide 3 – Is Poetry Always Meaningful?

Sometimes yes
Sometimes no
Both are okay

Slide 4 – Dis A Bility

Strength
Difficulty
Both exist together

Slide 5 – Dyslexia & Memory

Reading can be hard
Remembering can be hard
This does NOT define intelligence

Slide 6 – Support Matters

Support helps learning
Support builds confidence
Support leads to achievement

Slide 7 – Final Message

Believe in yourself
Get support when needed
You will get there

📘 5. EDUCATIONAL MESSAGE (FOR YOUR BOOK)

Key Learning Points

Poetry is a form of expression, not perfection
Dyslexia affects processing, not intelligence
Memory difficulties are common in neurodiversity
Support is a tool for success, not a weakness

💬 6. REFLECTION PARAGRAPH (FOR BLOG / BOOK)

This poem challenges the idea of what it means to be a “writer” or a “poet.” It highlights that poetry is not about being perfect or always making sense, but about expressing thoughts and feelings honestly. For people with dyslexia or learning difficulties, traditional expectations around reading and memory can feel limiting. However, creativity, emotion, and lived experience are equally valuable forms of intelligence. With the right support, individuals can achieve success in their own way.

🌟 7. TITLE IDEAS

What Is a Poet?
Dis A Bility: Strength and Struggle
Words From the Mind
Not Less, Just Different
Poetry Is My Voice

🌟 1. EDITED & POLISHED POEM (Accessible Version)

With the Right Support

With the right support,
I found my way.

Without support,
I thought I was nobody.
No future.
No career.

But I was wrong.

I didn’t know then
what I know now—
I just needed support.

From learning nothing
to learning something,
step by step,
day by day.

No one knows everything.
Not you.
Not me.

But we learn.

I know more today
than I did yesterday.
And so will you.

🌈 2. EASY READ VERSION (Simple + Clear)

With the Right Support (Easy Read)

👉 With the right support, I can learn.
👉 Without support, I felt like nobody.

👉 I thought I would have no future.

👉 But I was wrong.

👉 I just needed help and support.

👉 Now I am learning more every day.

👉 No one knows everything.

👉 We all keep learning.

👉 I know more today than yesterday.

👉 You will too.

🎨 3. POWERPOINT SLIDE STRUCTURE

Slide 1 – Title

With the Right Support
Disability & Learning Journey

Slide 2 – Without Support

I thought I was nobody
I thought I had no future
I felt lost

Slide 3 – The Truth

I was not “nothing”
I just needed support
Everyone learns differently

Slide 4 – Learning Takes Time

Step by step
Day by day
We all learn at different speeds

Slide 5 – Important Message

No one knows everything
Learning never stops

Slide 6 – Positive Ending

I know more today than yesterday
And so will you

🎭 4. SPOKEN WORD / PERFORMANCE VERSION

You can read this aloud for impact:

I thought I was nobody…
No future…
No career…

But I was wrong.

I didn’t need to be “fixed”—
I needed support.

From nothing…
to something…

From silence…
to a voice.

No one knows everything—
not you…
not me…

But we grow.

Because today…
I know more than yesterday.

And tomorrow…
I’ll know even more.

🧠 5. EDUCATIONAL MESSAGE (For Your Book/Training)

Key Learning Points

People with learning disabilities are not incapable
Lack of support creates barriers—not the person
Learning is a lifelong process for everyone
Confidence grows with understanding and support

❤️ 6. MESSAGE FOR DISABILITY & MENTAL HEALTH AWARENESS

This poem strongly connects to:

Autism
Dyslexia
Learning disabilities
Mental health struggles

Core Message:

People are not “failures” — they are unsupported

✍️ 7. BLOG / BOOK VERSION (Expanded Reflection)

You could include this alongside the poem:

Reflection:
Many people grow up believing they are “not good enough” when, in reality, they have never been given the right support. This can affect confidence, mental health, and life opportunities.

With the right help, understanding, and patience, people can achieve more than they ever believed possible.

🌟 8. TITLE IDEAS FOR THIS PIECE

With the Right Support
From Nobody to Somebody
Learning Step by Step
I Was Never Nothing
We All Learn Differently