For people who struggle to gain weight, the situation can sometimes be the opposite, but not always.
Some reasons people find it difficult to gain weight include:
- A naturally fast metabolism, meaning they burn more calories even at rest.
- Genetics, which influence body size and how easily muscle or fat is gained.
- Higher activity levels, sometimes without realizing how many calories they're burning.
- Hormonal conditions, such as an overactive thyroid, that increase energy expenditure.
- Digestive disorders that reduce nutrient absorption.
- Loss of appetite due to stress, anxiety, depression, or certain medications.
- Chronic illnesses that increase the body's energy needs.
Just as elevated cortisol from chronic stress may contribute to weight gain in some people, stress can also lead to weight loss in others. Some people eat more when stressed, while others lose their appetite almost completely. Individual responses to stress differ.
Why the Same Advice Doesn't Work for Everyone
Think of the body like a thermostat.
Your brain and hormones are constantly trying to keep your body in balance. When you lose weight, your body may:
- Increase hunger.
- Slow down how many calories it burns.
- Make you feel more tired so you move less.
When you try to gain weight, your body may:
- Reduce your appetite.
- Increase how much energy you burn.
- Make it harder to store extra calories.
This is one reason why maintaining a significant weight change can be challenging. The body has systems that tend to resist change.
You're Right About Healthy Habits
I also agree with your point that this isn't an excuse to stop eating well or exercising. Healthy eating and regular physical activity have many benefits beyond weight, including:
- Improving heart health.
- Strengthening muscles and bones.
- Supporting mental health.
- Helping manage blood sugar.
- Improving sleep and energy.
- Reducing the risk of many chronic diseases.
Someone may not lose or gain as much weight as they hope, yet still become healthier because their blood pressure, cholesterol, fitness, strength, and overall well-being improve.
Why It Works for Some but Not Others
That's something researchers continue to study. Differences in:
- genetics,
- hormones,
- gut bacteria,
- muscle mass,
- medications,
- age,
- sleep quality,
- stress levels, and
- underlying health conditions
all influence how a person's body responds to the same diet or exercise program.
So two people could eat similar meals and follow the same exercise routine, yet have different results. That doesn't necessarily mean one person is working harder or has more willpower—it reflects that human biology is highly individual.
Your comment highlights an important point: healthy habits are worthwhile regardless of whether the scale changes quickly, because good nutrition, physical activity, stress management, and adequate sleep support overall health even when weight changes are slower than expected.
I think you're making an important distinction. There is a difference between encouraging healthy habits and placing unrealistic expectations on people to look a certain way.
Throughout history, appearance has often been judged, but today's world can make that pressure even more intense because of social media, constant advertising, photo editing, and celebrities sharing carefully curated images. People are exposed to these messages every day, not just in magazines or films.
Your example of Judy Garland is a poignant one. During the 1940s and 1950s, Hollywood studios exercised enormous control over actors' lives. Garland was reportedly pressured from a young age to stay thin, and she was given restrictive diets and stimulant medications to suppress her appetite, while also being prescribed sleeping pills to help her rest. Today, many historians and biographers believe those pressures contributed to the physical and emotional struggles she experienced throughout her life.
Sadly, she wasn't the only one. Many actors, models, musicians, and athletes have spoken about feeling pressured to meet unrealistic body standards, sometimes at the expense of their health.
As you said, our bodies have limits. Healthy eating and exercise are beneficial, but they cannot completely override biology. Factors such as:
- Genetics
- Hormones
- Age
- Medical conditions
- Medications
- Menopause or puberty
- Stress and sleep
all influence what a healthy weight looks like for each individual.
One person may lose weight fairly easily, while another works just as hard and sees much slower progress. Likewise, someone trying to gain weight may eat more than expected and still struggle to put on weight. That doesn't necessarily mean either person lacks effort.
I also think society is gradually shifting its understanding. Many healthcare professionals now emphasize overall health rather than pursuing a particular body size. For example, someone who exercises regularly, eats a nutritious diet, has healthy blood pressure and cholesterol, and feels physically strong may be in excellent health even if they don't match society's idea of the "perfect" body.
- Trying extreme diets after years of struggling with weight.
- Developing an unhealthy relationship with food.
- Experiencing stress, anxiety, or depression that affects eating habits.
- Living with an underlying medical condition.
- Feeling overwhelmed by criticism or pressure from others.
It would not be accurate to assume that someone who loses a large amount of weight has an eating disorder or that comments from others are the sole cause. But social pressure and stigma can contribute to unhealthy behaviors in some people, especially if they feel judged or believe they must meet an unrealistic ideal.
One thing psychologists have learned is that support tends to be more effective than criticism. Encouraging healthy behaviors—such as eating nutritious meals, being physically active, getting enough sleep, and seeking medical advice when needed—is generally more helpful than focusing on a number on the scale or a person's appearance.
Ultimately, health is about much more than weight. Two people can weigh the same but have very different levels of fitness, nutrition, mental well-being, and underlying health. That's why many healthcare professionals now encourage looking at the whole person, rather than judging health based on body size alone.
Your comments also reflect an important idea: we should have compassion for people whose bodies or circumstances are different from our own. We can encourage healthy habits without assuming everyone faces the same challenges or will achieve the same results. Recognizing that difference can make conversations about weight and health much more supportive and respectful.
