One of the most important first steps is to believe the person.
Survivors are often not believed, dismissed, or blamed. Believing them helps build trust and safety.
Warning Signs Someone May Be Experiencing Abuse
According to domestic violence support guidance, possible signs include:
- Their partner insults them in front of others
- They are constantly worried about upsetting their partner
- They make excuses for their partner’s behaviour
- Their partner is extremely jealous or possessive
- They have unexplained marks or injuries
- They have stopped seeing friends or family
- They show anxiety, depression, or changes in personality
If You Are Worried About Someone
It can be very distressing to think someone you care about may be in danger.
- Fear for their safety is understandable
- Each situation is different
- Each person’s choices and timing are different
Most important: allow them to decide what to do and when to speak.
How to Support a Survivor
1. Be supportive and listen
- Find a private, safe time to talk
- Avoid interruptions or distractions
- Try to be separate from the suspected abuser
- Let them talk at their own pace
- Do not pressure them for details
Recognise that it takes strength to talk about abuse.
2. Do not judge, shame, or blame
Avoid saying things like:
- “You should just leave”
- “Why are you staying?”
- “Did you do something to cause it?”
Instead say:
- “I’m really sorry this is happening to you”
- “I’m glad you told me”
- “That sounds really difficult”
- “I’m here for you”
3. Offer practical support
You can offer:
- Someone to talk to
- Childcare support
- Transport to appointments or safe places
- Help making phone calls or finding services
Small practical help can make a big difference.
4. Support safety planning (if they ask)
This may include:
- Packing important items in advance
- Planning a safe place to go
- Creating a code word to signal danger
- Sharing emergency contact information
- Contacting a trusted support organisation
A safe word can be used to signal danger without the abuser knowing.
5. Encourage professional support
Let them know help is available:
- Confidential domestic violence services
- 24/7 helplines
- Specialist support organisations
- Emotional and practical guidance
6. Respect their decisions
If they choose to stay:
- Continue to support them
- Avoid judgement
- Understand leaving is not always immediately possible
People stay for many complex reasons, including fear, finances, children, or emotional attachment.
If they choose to leave:
- Continue to support them
- Recognise they may feel grief, fear, or loneliness
- Be a consistent and safe support person
Leaving an abusive relationship can still be emotionally complex.
Key Principles for Supporting Survivors
- Believe them
- Listen without judgement
- Do not pressure or control decisions
- Offer practical help where possible
- Support safety, not force action
- Stay consistent and patient
Important Reminder
You cannot “rescue” someone, but you can be a safe, supportive, and steady presence.
Support Services (Example)
- SafeHouse Center (24/7 helpline): (734) 995-5444
- Confidential advice, support, and services are available
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