What is death and dying?
Death is a natural part of the human lifespan. Although everyone experiences death differently, psychologists study how people understand death, cope with loss, and support those who are dying. The experience is influenced by age, culture, religion, family, and personal beliefs.
Understanding Death at Different Ages
Young Children
Young children often do not fully understand that death is permanent. They may think a person can come back to life or wake up again.
As they grow older, they begin to understand that:
- Death is permanent.
- All living things eventually die.
- Death happens to everyone.
Teenagers
Teenagers usually understand that death is permanent, but they may:
- Feel angry or confused.
- Take more risks because they believe death is unlikely to happen to them.
- Think about the meaning of life and their future.
Adults
Adults often think about death differently depending on their age and experiences.
They may:
- Cope with the loss of parents, partners, or friends.
- Prepare legal and financial plans.
- Reflect on their life and achievements.
Older Adults
Many older adults think more about death because of:
- Aging
- Illness
- Losing family members or friends
Some find comfort through:
- Family
- Faith or spiritual beliefs
- Friends
- Memories
- Life achievements
Elisabeth Kübler-Ross's Five Stages of Grief
Psychiatrist Elisabeth Kübler-Ross suggested that many people experience five common reactions when facing death or a major loss.
These stages do not always happen in order, and not everyone experiences all of them.
1. Denial
"I can't believe this is happening."
The person may struggle to accept the news.
2. Anger
"Why me?"
The person may feel:
- Angry
- Frustrated
- Bitter
They may direct these feelings at themselves, others, or the situation.
3. Bargaining
"If only..."
The person may hope they can change what is happening.
Examples:
- Making promises
- Hoping for more time
- Asking "What if?"
4. Depression
The person may experience:
- Sadness
- Crying
- Hopelessness
- Withdrawal
This stage reflects the emotional impact of the loss.
5. Acceptance
Acceptance does not mean happiness.
It means the person begins to accept the reality of the situation and learns how to move forward.
Important Note About the Five Stages
Modern psychologists recognise that grief is different for everyone.
People may:
- Skip stages.
- Return to earlier feelings.
- Experience several emotions at the same time.
- Never experience all five stages.
There is no right or wrong way to grieve.
Hospice Care
Hospice care helps people who are nearing the end of life.
Its goal is to improve quality of life, rather than cure illness.
Hospice care may provide:
- Pain relief
- Emotional support
- Spiritual support
- Support for family members
- Comfort and dignity
Hospice care can take place:
- At home
- In a hospice centre
- In a hospital
- In a nursing home
Palliative Care
Palliative care focuses on improving comfort and quality of life for people with serious illnesses.
Unlike hospice care, palliative care can be provided alongside treatments aimed at curing the illness.
It may include:
- Pain management
- Emotional support
- Help with symptoms such as nausea or breathlessness
- Support for patients and families
Bereavement
Bereavement is the period after someone dies when family and friends experience the loss.
People may experience:
- Sadness
- Anger
- Loneliness
- Relief
- Guilt
- Confusion
These feelings are all common and can vary from person to person.
Grief
Grief is the emotional response to losing someone or something important.
Grief can affect:
Emotions
- Sadness
- Anger
- Anxiety
- Numbness
Physical Health
- Tiredness
- Changes in sleep
- Changes in appetite
- Headaches
Thinking
- Difficulty concentrating
- Forgetfulness
- Confusion
Behaviour
- Crying
- Withdrawing from others
- Talking about the person who died
- Seeking support
Factors That Affect Grief
Grief can be influenced by:
- Age
- Culture
- Religious beliefs
- Relationship with the person who died
- Type of death (expected or sudden)
- Previous experiences with loss
- Support from family and friends
Ways to Cope with Grief
Healthy coping strategies include:
- Talking with trusted family or friends
- Joining a support group
- Counselling or therapy
- Looking after physical health
- Remembering the person through photos, stories, or special activities
- Allowing yourself time to grieve
Key Terms
| Term | Meaning |
|---|---|
| Death | The end of life |
| Grief | Emotional response to loss |
| Bereavement | The period after someone dies |
| Hospice care | Care focused on comfort and quality of life near the end of life |
| Palliative care | Care that improves comfort alongside or instead of curative treatment |
| Denial | Difficulty accepting a loss |
| Anger | Feelings of frustration after a loss |
| Bargaining | Hoping to change the situation |
| Depression | Deep sadness related to the loss |
| Acceptance | Coming to terms with the reality of the loss |
Everyday Examples
- A child asks when a grandparent will come home because they do not yet understand death is permanent.
- A teenager feels angry after losing a close friend.
- An adult attends a grief support group after the death of a parent.
- An older adult receives hospice care to improve comfort during a serious illness.
- A family creates a memory book to celebrate the life of a loved one.
Quick Quiz
- What is grief?
- What is bereavement?
- What is the difference between hospice care and palliative care?
- Name the five stages of grief described by Kübler-Ross.
- Why do psychologists say grief is different for everyone?
Sample Answers
- Grief is the emotional response to losing someone or something important.
- Bereavement is the period after someone dies when family and friends experience the loss.
- Hospice care focuses on comfort near the end of life, while palliative care improves comfort and quality of life and can be provided alongside treatments aimed at curing an illness.
- Denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance.
- People experience grief in different ways, influenced by factors such as their relationship with the person who died, their culture, beliefs, and personal experiences.
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