Key reality
It can feel like people “just snap,” but in most cases:
- Violence is not sudden or random
- It is usually the result of patterns, beliefs, and choices building over time
- It is often purposeful, especially in abuse
Core Safeguarding Truth
Abuse and violence are choices used to gain power, control, or dominance — not caused by the victim.
Main Reasons Behind Abuse and Violence
1. Power and control (primary driver)
- Many acts of abuse are strategic
- The goal is to dominate, control, or intimidate
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The victim is often chosen because they are:
- Close (partner, family member)
- Easier to control
- Less likely to be believed or supported
This is especially true in domestic abuse.
2. Learned behaviour
- Exposure to violence growing up
- Normalisation of abuse in family or culture
- Learned belief that control = strength
This creates a template for relationships.
3. Insecurity and low self-worth
Some individuals:
- Feel inadequate or powerless
- Use control or aggression to feel superior
- Put others down to feel “stronger”
4. Defensive or fear-based aggression
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Some people act aggressively when they feel:
- Threatened
- Overwhelmed
- Emotionally exposed
This is linked to the “fight” response in the brain.
5. Reinforcement and reward
- For some, control or aggression becomes rewarding
-
It can:
- Reduce internal tension
- Create a sense of power
- Become a repeated behaviour pattern
Over time, this can become habit-forming.
6. Personality and psychological factors
Certain traits can increase risk, such as:
- Lack of empathy
- Callousness
- Impulsivity
- Traits linked to conditions like Antisocial Personality Disorder
Important:
- Not everyone with these traits is violent
- And most people with mental health conditions are not abusive
7. Substance use and disinhibition
-
Alcohol or drugs can:
- Lower self-control
- Increase aggression
- Impair judgement
But:
- They do not cause abuse on their own
- They increase risk, not responsibility
8. Social and environmental factors
- Exposure to violence in communities
- Poverty and inequality
- Cultural beliefs about power, gender, or control
These can:
- Normalise harmful behaviour
- Increase stress and risk factors
Why Victims Are Chosen
This is a difficult but important point.
Victims are often targeted because they are:
- Emotionally close (partners, family)
- Easier to control or isolate
- Less likely to report or be believed
- Dependent (financially, emotionally, socially)
In hate crimes:
- Victims are targeted because of identity (race, disability, gender, etc.)
In random violence:
- Opportunity and circumstance can play a role
Important Safeguarding Clarification
Violence is not caused by the victim
- Nothing a victim does causes abuse
- Responsibility always lies with the perpetrator
“Snapping” is often misunderstood
What looks like “snapping” is usually:
- Built-up patterns
- Repeated thinking and behaviour
- Escalation over time
Why Abusers Justify Their Behaviour
Common tactics include:
- Blaming the victim
- Minimising harm (“it wasn’t that bad”)
- Calling it a joke
- Saying they were “provoked”
This is called moral disengagement and helps avoid accountability.
Key Training Message
- Abuse and violence are rarely random
- They are usually linked to power, control, and learned behaviour
- Risk factors exist, but they do not remove responsibility
- Victims are never to blame
Easy Read Summary
- People do not usually “just snap”
- Abuse is often planned or repeated
- People may hurt others to feel powerful
- Some learn this behaviour growing up
- Stress or alcohol can make things worse, but do not cause abuse
- The victim is never the cause
- Everyone has the right to be safe
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